Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Only One...

It wasn’t long before it began. Right after I was born actually. Little towheaded siblings looked through the nursery window to see a black headed sister. People asked if I belonged to my family. “Yes." My mom replied. “But her hair is so dark!” they’d argue.
You see, I was the only one…


When I was only 3, and life had taken a nasty turn, I’d become quite a burden to my dad’s new wife. My siblings sat in desks at school while I secretly was made to sit on a dresser. Those days were long for young little me. No one to talk to, only little thoughts,
I was sad that I was the only one…


When other children played with play-do and blocks and loved a kind kindergarten teacher, I just wanted to run away. One day I did, and found my way home. I didn’t like going to school.
I think I was the only one…


Sunday’s at Daddy’s were just about fun and games. So I learned to be brave at 7 and ask instead if I could go to church. No one knew what I felt and I didn’t care if I was the only one…


As I grew older into those beloved teenage years, I often expected the revelation to be a surprise to others. “You’re MORMON?!?” I’d often hear. I tried to carry that banner high through those high school halls. It wasn’t always easy, being the only one…


When my friends all wanted to drink and have a little fun, I asked them to please take me home. Pride and sadness filled my heart that I was the only one.


With luggage filled with clothing and a few treasured things, I was headed for new adventures. I gave lots of hugs goodbye and boarded my airplane. Leaving my loved ones behind, again I was the only one…


A year later you kissed me under the brightest starry sky. It was a moment made for the movies. It still plays over in my head. I have to admit I was very shocked when you told me you’d never kissed another. I still can’t believe I am the only one!


When we kneeled across that alter, surrounded by family and friends, you looked at me. You smiled at me. You held my hand. You promised me forever. And you gazed at me in that room as if I were the only one…


Four times you’ve given me the greatest blessings of life-our sweet, darling children. Every time I felt the pain of childbirth, you gave me strength and encouraged me that I was strong and could make it. This was my job to do, another couldn’t fill. The burden and blessing were mine for I was the only one.


Some nights I wake to find you gone. A kiss on my cheek and empty covers tell me that you’re on a fire call or helping at the scene of a wreck. Though I miss you and worry, I know others are blessed by your absence at home. So, I just pray you’ll return home safely so I won’t for long be the only one…




I used to wonder why I often had to stand alone. There used to be pain behind the solitude. But now I can see that the solitary moments in each of our lives are some of the most profound. Maybe no one else would agree. Perhaps I’m the only one…


For you see, I know now that all that time I was growing and changing into the person who would one day be ready for you. The day you were born, the world became a better place. You were amazing since day one. I had a long way to go. And even though my journey to finding you wasn’t always paved in roses, it was guided by miracles and blessings. Now I know that I really was never alone. I look back on the wisdom of that plan and am so thankful I got the chance to raise my potential and ultimately spend my life with such an amazing person. So, when a rare solitary moment finds me now, I see it as a chance to continue to become who you need me to be. I hope I can be to you what you are to me each and every day...


Because you are The One-- My One and Only One…




Happy Birthday Honey!! I love you so much and am so thankful for your life and that you let me share it. :) You really make my life so much better! 
Love,
me

2 comments:

wade said...

Words cannot express how much you mean to me Lissy. I don't know how you got so confused about me, but it is I, not you who was blessed to be married to one of the noble and great ones! I wasn't given the challenges that you were, I wasn't strong enough to bare them. You are such an amazing woman, and teach me so much, thank you for being MY one and only. I love you!!!

Lori said...

Wow, that was powerful and I kinda feel like I'm interrupting a moment between you two:) Loved it!