Chase's Baptism

My little guy turned 8 this year and had the privilege of being baptized and following in the Savior's footsteps.  We are very proud of Chase and his desire to learn and grow and make good choices.  

Here is the announcement

with a few of the personal details omitted:

Here is the back:

 I made it look like a school board announcement (late one night) because I wanted something that symbolized Chase's love of learning.  Maybe its silly.  Like I said, It was a late night idea.. :)

I love this photo.  

Chase was baptized by His dad.  

 Eight is Great! 

GR82B8

 I made Chase a rainbow cake and cake banner 

for his baptism to go with a beautiful song our church has on baptism.

Since many of my family members don't go to my church, here are the lyrics of the song:

I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain

And ponder on the beauty of the earth made clean again

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain

I want to be the best I can

And live with God again

I know when I am baptized My wrongs are washed away

And I can be forgiven and improve myself each day

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain

I want to be the best I can

And live with God again

Other things of note about my baptism day

by Chase:

Opening Prayer was given by my brother Braydon

My sister Sommer spoke on baptism

My mom, Livvy and I sang 

Baptism

My dad baptized and confirmed me a member of the church

Witnesses were My Grandpa and Uncle Scott.

The greatest game in History/ Baseball Lessons: Part 3

Part One

Part Two

Walking up to the field- before the game

After Chase seemed excited to go to his game,

I called Wade and told him that we were going.  He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do that alone since he probably wouldn't make it home from work in time to join us.  I could hear his concern but told him we'd be fine.  When we pulled up to the ball park and got out, I (in my little faith) took a quick picture of Chase just in case things didn't go well later.  I hoped to get at least one smile out of the evening.  :)

When we got to the field, his coach was so welcoming and kind to Chase.  I already was so thankful for his two very supportive and positive coaches. The coach pulled Chase aside and tried a few practice swings with him.  Seconds later, they were lining up to bat.  Chase was last in the lineup.

When he got up to the plate, even though I had just had this huge talk with him about how it is okay to strike out, secretly I was on pins and needles.  

 I was praying, pleading for a tender mercy.  

It really was like the scene of a movie.

Strike One!

I'm sure I let out an audible groan....And I was Praying hard!!!

Strike Two!

More Nerves and Praying harder!

Then the next ball...

He hit it! :)

He ran to first base and his coaches yelled for him to keep on running.  

He made it to second base, third base, and then all the way home!

A HOME RUN!!!

Chase ran in with the biggest smile on his face.  We were all soooo excited and cheering!  

My prayers had definitely been answered and I witnessed so much more of a blessing than the little tender mercy I was hoping for.  I just hoped he'd hit the ball!  Never did I imagine a HOME RUN on his first time to bat, ever!  

First hit running to first base

In retrospect, I can only imagine what a fool I made of myself!  I laugh when I imagine all the other parents looking at this crazy mother so excited over one hit.  Of course no one knew how much it took to get to that point.  

Braydon and I were cheering so excitedly and I think I was jumping up and down- hence the lack of pictures when he made it home.  I was so caught up in the moment.  

Call me a dork, but I didn't even realize that there were tears in my eyes until after the fact.

My joy escalated when his team went to the outfield where Chase was manning third base (below) and he kept throwing his arm in the air with joy saying, "YES!"  

That moment was so priceless.  To actually see him revel in his accomplishment.  I was beyond thrilled and thankful to see him have that experience.  

It was the perfect scenario.

My heart was bursting!

My camera battery was low and I could only get one photo which unfortunately didn't show his huge smile.  

I absolutely love this photo of Chase trying to catch a fly ball.  :)

Chase got so into the game and had a blast!

AND...

He got to go to bat one more inning and he actually got another home run on the first swing! 

It was so surreal! 

Chase's team and two awesome coaches

As soon as the game was over, I gave Chase a big high five and said, "Chase! TWO HOME RUNS!!"  He said, " I know! Maybe I'll grow up and become a professional baseball player!" ( so cute)  :)  

I was so thankful to be leaving the game on that note!  We got home at the exact time Wade was pulling up.  With a wary look, he asked how the game went and how we were doing.

I hesitated, briefly, and then told him,

"Today was one of the best days of my life."

He was definitely surprised and happy to hear that.  

But that was simply the truth.  Moments like that can't be planned.  And I knew this was more than a little league experience.  Nothing could make a mom happier than seeing her child succeed and happy. 

 I felt so grateful for so many things that night.  I am so glad even through our worries and doubts, that we made it to that game!  So thankful for that prompting and for answered prayers!  So thankful for Chase's willingness to try!  I am also so thankful for Babe Ruth, who may have hit hundreds of balls, but more importantly gave a little boy encouragement that strike out or home run, we should still play the game.  Because sometimes, you may get that home run. Twice.

The Secret that Changed the Game/ Baseball Lessons: Part 2

For Part One, Click HERE

A week passed by with no mention of baseball at all.  It really was practically forgotten.  Braydon, Sommer, and Livvy had lots of practices for their dance recital that was coming up, so we were pretty busy.  

As I was rushing around the next game day,  getting ready for dance practices, I felt a blanket of calm assurance wash over me that prompted me to take Chase to his game. I was so surprised, since I didn't feel it was a consideration anymore.  But there was no room for doubt in my mind.  I just knew we needed to go.  I wasn't sure why, I just knew.   I didn't even know what time the game started so I went and checked the schedule.  It was in an hour.  Just barely enough to time to hurry and get ready, drive Sommer to practice, and get back to the ball field.  

I called to Chase and when he came to me, I said to him, 

"Chase, I feel like we need to go to your baseball game tonight."

I braced myself for rejection, but he just said, "You do??"

"Yes! I really do!" I said excitedly, and I grabbed his uniform and we got him dressed quickly.  

It was effortless! I couldn't believe it!  The kids all helped to get out the door fast, grabbing dance shoes and ball gloves.  They filled their water bottles as hope filled my heart. 

However, not even a block down the road, Chase slumped in his seat.  

 "I can't do it!"  He said.

Ugh! My bubble instantly popped.  

When Chase makes up his mind, that's pretty much it.  He has a lot of ambition and totally believes he will one day travel through portals and make new discoveries, but hitting a baseball was a completely different story.  

It may sound crazy, but I have felt for quite some time that Chase and I are like one soul. ;)  Our emotions go so hand in hand.  For some reason, we feed off of each other more than anyone I've ever known.  If I'm stressed and don't even say a word, Chase always knows and quickly will be anxious too. He makes me keep things in check!  And if he gets down, I feel his pain so strongly.  Its a connection that is so strong, I often wonder how and why?  But there's no denying that we share emotions.  

I felt so heavy in that instant, feeling his sadness.  Energy and excitement zapped.  Not that I wanted to give up, but I thought if I tried too hard to coerce him, that it would turn into a meltdown and take every bit of strength I had- for nothing.  Only create more stress, for all of us.

 I sent up a quick and quiet, very heartfelt prayer.  I told Heavenly Father I felt we should go, and now I didn't know what to do.  I prayed to know how to help Chase.

Instantly, a thought came to my mind.  I took every bit of energy I could muster at the moment to sound enthusiastic, and said, 

(Me)  Chase, do you want to know a secret?

(Chase)  Sure...

(Me)  Well, this is a really important secret.  Its pretty special.  Most kids don't know it, but it is a pretty amazing baseball secret.

(Chase, a little intrigued) What is it?

(Me)  Well, I'd have to know you can appreciate it, because its such a good one.

I spent the next several minutes as we drove REALLY building his suspense and enthusiasm.  His demeanor was changing, and my hope was building. 

When he was adequately primed, I began.

"I have a secret about Babe Ruth." I whispered. :)

I told him about Babe Ruth and what an amazing ball player he was;  how Babe had the most home runs than any other ball player.  

Chase was excited to tell me that he had read about Babe Ruth in one of his encyclopedias.  

I went on and on about Babe Ruth and the inspiration he became for so many people.

I took my time raving over The King of Swing.

Then I quietly asked if he wanted to know the secret 

(which probably everyone knows, haha). 

Of course he said yes!  

I said, "Babe Ruth is known for his record setting home runs, but he also set another record most people don't remember."

"WHAT?" Chase begged.

 "He also set the record for the most strike outs!" I told him.

"Really?" he asked.

After confirming, I asked Chase, "How could he have a record for both strike outs and home runs???"

Chase hung his head as he said, " I guess he didn't give up."

It was such a tender little statement, so reflective and meek.  I began expressing my thoughts on how we have to put ourselves out there.  It doesn't matter if we strike out every time, we can still have fun and learn to believe in ourselves.  I told him how important it is to have experiences and be brave, even when its hard.  I also explained that people still remembered the best in Babe- not the strike outs, just the home runs. 

If we are doing our best and have a good attitude, people will see the good in us.

Chase loved our little secret and asked if I had any more stories like that, and I then told him about Rudy, and also George Lucas with Star Wars.  

( He couldn't believe anyone could doubt the success of Star wars!) 

I shared how they all could have given up, but they believed in their dreams instead.  

And their dreams were stronger than disappointments.  

The mood was lighter. 

Chase was smiling and looking out his window. 

"How about we get to the game," I said.

"Okay," he said with a grin.

Part three

Striking Out/ Baseball Lessons: Part One

Chase's first uniform

When Chase expressed interest in playing baseball this spring, I was elated! 

 I love baseball for so many reasons.   I never played on a team as a kid, but I did play in the neighborhood, sandlot style. And I found every opportunity to go cheer on my friends and boys I babysat who were playing at the ball park.  I was a huge Atlanta Braves fan in my heyday.  

Not just because of the boys, but

many memories of the ball park are still sweet to me. 

The sights, the sounds, the food, the heat.

Going back to Chaser, I was really excited to form new even better memories with him playing ball!  He played soccer in the fall and did great and had fun, but since my heart lived in baseball, I couldn't wait!  This would be his first year.  

At his first practice, I'll admit, we anxiously realized we were already behind the game.  Chase was getting pretty good at catch, but with very little experience, not even t-ball, I was nervous wondering how he would do compared to the other boys.  And let me tell you, they were good.  

Really good 

for a bunch of 7 year olds.  

As Chase tried batting, he couldn't hit the ball. Not even once. His coaches were so awesome, but I could see his little heart crushing with each strike.  Ugh!  Guilt set in. What was I thinking? I had set him up for failure.  Why hadn't we practiced more?  

With Chase's need for smooth transitions to new things, this wasn't going well. Chase is a sharp kid.  He could see the difference in his baseball skills and the other boys.  I just felt so bad.  Heartbroken. Like a terrible mom.  

The overwhelming situation took its toll and finally Chase was laying on the ground- done for the day.  We left practice early.  We took our humble pie with extra helpings of defeat and disappointment. :(

Chase made it very clear on the way home that he did not want to play baseball, 

at all!  

Wade and I encouraged and offered more practice,

but forcing Chase to suck it up and to not quit would be counterproductive.

Because of his sensory sensitivities, we can't push too hard.

His team's first game was two days later and I offered to take him to go watch his team play and support his friends- just for fun.  He gave me a flat refusal and I took it.  

Oh well.

That was that.

Gone were my visions of him in his cute little uniform and ball cap, sitting in the dugout with his buddies and running through the outfield, getting still shots of him swinging the bat, catching a fly ball, and especially cheering for him as he made his first home run.

  It's only little league, but it was still hard to say goodbye to a chapter that never even started.  

However, it was time to let it go and just move on.  I'm big enough to recognize it was for him all along, not for me.

So, that was THE END of the story,

or so I thought...

Part two

Part three

Dancing

 While at a wedding for our neighbor's daughter, they invited all mothers and sons to come dance and Chase actually wanted to dance with me!  

It was a sweet moment with this sweetheart. :) 

Becoming a new kind of Mother...

 

The last couple of weeks have been really hard for Chase.  We are doing things in his occupational therapy to really push him to his limits so we can work on resolving his moments of being overwhelmed, over-stimulated, and having meltdowns.  While I see the wisdom in this plan, I will also say it is so hard!  Some days of O.T. go beautifully- SO FUN for Chase! And some days he has a major meltdown for the rest of the day.  We're talking tantrums on steroids.  Those days are so exhausting and grueling.  It is the hardest thing to watch your child suffering and feel that you can't make it better.  I can't even get mad at him because he can't help it.  He hates it as much as we do.  It's gut wrenching and plain awful!


One day last week, we went to O.T. again and it started out well, but less than halfway into it, it became too much. Chase retreated and when the therapist pulled him to face the situation, of course, the meltdown began.  We spent a good 40 minutes trying to "teach" Chase how to handle it, to no avail.

I was already exhausted.  We were at the end of a very sleepless week, plus I had just spent 2 days keeping up with the youth at youth conference.  Not to mention the extra housework I did before and after my trip.  I was silently praying, BEGGING Heavenly Father to PLEASE not let this meltdown continue.  I just did not have the energy.  My resources were tapped and I was utterly spent.
At the end, Brian (the occupational therapist) carried Chase to the car, with Chase still crying and screaming, resisting every command.

Looking at the therapist I was thinking the whole time,
"If you are going to push him to this point, then you better get in the car and go home with us!  I do not have the strength to do this tonight.  You started it, you better finish it!"

 He must have seen the tears filling my pleading eyes.  He just said, "Call me when you get home."

Before I could pull out of the parking lot, I was in full body sobs.  It just felt so unfair.  I sobbed and prayed, begging Heavenly Father to help me know what to do to get through the day.  I knew I couldn't do it alone.  My heart breaks to see my sweet, happy Chase so unhappy, and by this point in time, I was feeling sorry for myself too.  Why did this happen on the day I was probably least prepared to handle it?  I was just too tired and there would be no rest for the weary.  So, I just cried. A lot.  Pretty soon, an idea came to me.  I pulled up to a book store, dried my swollen eyes and told Chase to come with me. He looked at me questionably.  I took him to the kid section and we looked at all the fun games and books.  When he lit up over a cool dinosaur magnet board, I said, "Let's get it."

In our family, gifts are rarely bought except a birthday or holiday- and especially in Chase's situation, earning one through a reward system.  So, Chase was surprised and pretty excited.

As we were walking out, he asked me how come he got to get it.  I know he had figured out that he hadn't quite earned this opportunity.

I told him, "Sometimes you don't have to earn a gift.  Sometimes you get one just because I love you."
It was so warming to see that big smile again.

I broke all the good mother rules, and it felt like the best thing I had ever done.

He never cried again the whole night.  Many people would say that I was rewarding bad behavior.  But I know that Chase is not trying to act that way. He just doesn't understand yet what TO DO.  And I wanted him to know I love him and care about his happiness above all.

Because the thing is... I really do get it, how Chase feels sometimes.  This trial often also leads me to tears, fears, and frustrations.  I know as hard as I try, there are moments when I just break down.  I am walking this path with faith, but it isn't perfect faith.  I have many worries that some days completely overwhelm me .  Sometimes I sob inconsolably too.  And just like Chase, I too, need a parent who will bless me despite these weaknesses.  That's when I need to feel loved more than ever, just so I can keep going.

So, all this week, I've been praying, asking God to bless me and my family and we navigate our way through sensory processing disorder (or whatever this is).  I know He loves us and there are gifts in store, even when we cry our way through these trials.

Then yesterday I read this passage from conference.  Jeffrey R Holland was speaking of the Savior's parable of the laborers in the vineyard.  I was so encouraged by this segment,


"This parable—like all parables—is not really about laborers or wages any more than the others are about sheep and goats. This is a story about God’s goodness, His patience and forgiveness, and the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is a story about generosity and compassion. It is a story about grace. It underscores the thought I heard many years ago that surely the thing God enjoys most about being God is the thrill of being merciful, especially to those who don’t expect it and often feel they don’t deserve it."

I would say as a mother, I enjoyed that more than anything too. 

Dream Home

Remember this HGTV dream home given away a couple of months ago?  

I know I always will.  As will everyone in my family.

From the moment Chase found out about this grand give-away, he entered for us every day.  He would literally jump out of bed-5 or 6 am, as soon as his conscious little brain reminded him that he could enter again.  I would wake up to him watching every virtual tour of the home and he HAD to show me what all we were going to do in our new home.  Believe me, I prepped him a thousand times and said that I was so proud of his dreams, dedication, and excitement, but many many people wanted to win that home.  We'd hope, but not get our hopes too high. He always agreed with a smile and uh-huh, but  I was so worried that this would end badly.  

However, I just had to kiss him every time his cute face would light up over HIS dream home.  

I know if the odds were based off desire alone, Chase would've won that house.  And he knew every square inch of it and all the other construction details. 

The day came that HGTV would announce the winner. I told the kids that day that 

I am sure we DID NOT win, 

because the filming was probably already completed with the surprise winner.  But leading up to that day, all the kids, including Livvy, would pray that we would win that house "for Chase."  Even neighbors said the same, and I always had to chuckle at how many hearts were rooting for 

my 7 year old boy.

I took the kids to my moms that evening because I needed a few last things for my calling at church the next day (I served as the children's music leader then).  Although I too wanted to see the "Big Reveal", I just had too much to still do that night.  

My mom agreed to watch the program with the kids.

A little later, she called...

yep, the one I was dreading.  

Oh, the guilt and worry I was feeling for not being there!!!

She said, "Now, I'm not telling on Chase to get him in trouble, but I thought you might want to know what he just did."

(oh no...)

"Well... " she continued, " He watched the show for a bit until they surprised the winner and then he got upset.  He went over to the computer, sat in the chair, and in less than a minute had moved all my desktop files to the recycle bin."

I think I must've scared the checkout lady at Target when I started laughing hysterically. My mom started laughing too.   I didn't even know he knew how to do that.  Luckily, Wade took over and paid so I could walk out and try to catch a breath.  

Maybe it doesn't seem that funny now, but its just one of the typical random acts of Chase that keep life interesting.  

Everyone later asked me why he did that.  It seemed obvious to me that if you spent that much time trusting that this electronic device would verify you as the rightful winner, but then failed you, you'd send it to the recycle bin too.  Or straight to the trash. ;)

The next day he and I had a good cry.  It was so sad.  And just as in my mind, I was thanking my lucky stars that at least now it is over and we don't have to enter and wait anymore, he stopped his tears and brightened up just enough to tell me that he did see the commercial for the next house and he can enter for that one real soon.

Thank

you

HGTV.

Bowling Profiles

We went bowling for Livvy's birthday. We don't go very often.  I noticed that the way we bowl says a lot about each member of our family.  Our personalities all came out. :)  

Just a few highlights and thoughts:

 Livvy- "New SHOES?!! YAY!"

Chase- "I hope there are no parasites in them..."

Braydon- "Am I studly?"

(Always making a joke)  

"They're all so pretty! "

(the cutie says)

The Cutie Pie and Daddy the Pro

Braydon strutting some kind of moves,

Chase keeping tabs on the electronics:

Bowling like a frog:

Middle of the game candid moments:

Four kids competing, and rushing to and fro with very heavy bowling balls (see Livvy above) meant for not much sitting for mom and dad.

And If I am completely honest, I must say, it was the dad doing most of the work. :)

I love him and his mad skills.

Some of us pretended we could play.

Some of us really could.

And some of us were bound and determined to win.

Some of us didn't care. We were just there for the fun.

And to make a birthday night special for a certain 4 year old.

We loved celebrating with this happy girl!

And this is how the night ended-  :)

We all brought something to the game,

and we all left with at least a few points, some laughs

and tired eyes and arms.

Not a bad night. 

Wouldn't it be fun to recreate this photo once a year and see how these little feet grow?  (sniff-sniff)